Games
Don’t parachute into the Battleground unprepared. Take our handy who’s-who guide with you.
For the 11 of you who don’t know, Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds is a 100-player battle royale game developed by Brendan 'Player Unknown' Greene, who in the space of a a few months has become one of the most influential voices in games development.
It’s a massive free-for-all in which the only real rule is 'shoot everyone while not getting shot'. With more than 10 million players already, archetypes were bound to emerge. If you too are thinking of leaping out of a plane into a war-zone in your pants, read our guide to the 10 types of player you’re likely to encounter in PUBG.
The Noob
Player trait: Looking like a confused John Travolta off of Pulp Fiction
Usually found: Panicking somewhere
Okay, we admit it, this is usually us, but you know that player who drops into a hot zone because the trees are pretty, spends half the match only moving in the direction the shrinking level bounds are pushing them, and then blind-fires into the air in a panic when faced with another player?
Yeah, that one.
That's us. The Noob. The one who's never quite sure what's going on, who thinks making friends is a viable option in PUBG. Unsurprisingly, the Noob doesn't last very long and is about as familiar with a chicken dinner as a vegan in outer space.
The Tactician
Player trait: Loves it when a plan comes together
Usually found: Ducking behind a wall, reading a map
The Tactician knows war and strategy like they were the best man or bridesmaid at their own wedding, and everything is meticulously planned. The drop zone, the ideal weapon, the tactics for picking off enemies one at a time; everything is in a spreadsheet with clearly labelled tabs.
This player has watched countless videos, studied a hundred forums. They know this game, they know your game. They know what you're thinking, and they’re coming for you, sweet cheeks.
The Improviser
Player trait: Anything goes
Usually found: In the kitchen, trying to make a microwavable bomb
Then there's this clown. The Improviser has no plan. They need no plan. All they need is a frying pan and a good run-up. This player won't study maps, videos, or screens; they'll just wing it.
It begins with how they're armed: if it has bullets, great, if not? Who cares, as long as it's heavy. They don't mind where they drop, or what's nearby. Some might call them 'casuals', and herein lies their strength: you assume no plan means no skill, and meanwhile they exploit your confidence to beat you to a pulp with kitchen utensils.
Chicken dinner, indeed.
The Loot Hunter
Player trait: Reckless greed
Usually found: Where the bling is
You know how there's always someone trying to turn a profit during times of war? That's the Loot Hunter. To them, Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds is just another fix for the loot monkey on their back.
They’re usually seen knee-deep in Diablo or Borderlands, but having found themselves gripped by a greater bloodlust for the hunting of humans as well as baubles, have dropped into PUBG for a while.
You'll find them 'chuting into a heavily contested zone, or chasing the red smoke that signifies rare gear. All they care about is bling, in all its many forms, and they'll do anything to get it.
The Wannabe Ninja
Player trait: Sssh!
Not usually found: Anywhere
By and large, this isn't a bad way to play the game. Sneaking and sniping and silently braining your opponents with a frying pan has obvious appeal, but also, it looks cool.
The Wannabe Ninja will exploit the shadows, hug the bushes, glide silently across the floor on slippers made of clouds to destroy the unaware. They are the night, they are the shadows. They are also the Noob's worst nightmare.
The Kill-stealer
Player trait: Pure evil
Usually found: Lurking on the edge of firefights
A special corner in hell is reserved for the Kill-stealer. They don’t engage anyone directly unless they have no choice, but instead travel the map looking for players already taking pot-shots at one another or trading melee blows. They look for the telltale signs of muzzle flash as two brave combatants go toe-to-toe for glory, then calmly pick them both off, weakest first, to claim the prize.
The Kill-stealer is a horrible human being, granted, but you can’t argue with success. If it works, it works, even if it does make them slightly less popular than an itchy corn.
The Lost One
Player trait: Like, totally lost
Usually found: Where they're not meant to be
Literally, lost. This trooper hasn't got a clue where the heck they are. Now and then they get lucky and shoot someone, but usually they're one step ahead of the boundary line, wondering where all the action is. As soon as the map shrinks enough that they're no longer lost, they're immediately shot.
You’ll probably feel sorry for them at first, perhaps even confuse them for the Noob, since they’re so similar in appearance and mannerisms. But on closer inspection you’ll find that they aren’t wandering around aimlessly because they’re new, but because they have the same sense of direction as an inebriated octopus on a carousel. Just shoot them. It’s a kindness.
The Showboater
Player trait: Irritating smarm
Usually found: Behind you, making bunny ears
You know the sort, right? The show-off, the crowd-pleaser. The one that usually makes it to the last ten but rarely wins because they're too busy tea-bagging the dead, turning in little circles before killing someone, or trying to set up fancy takedowns.
They're probably streaming, giggling like idiots to their 'fans', while you try to take the game somewhat seriously and still end up getting introduced to them via the medium of face to crotch. If it was real life they’d never survive a war-zone, as they’d be the ones crouching over and over again behind an unsuspecting enemy until someone else shot them.
The Pro
Player trait: Being better than you
Usually found: Feasting on the carcass of a delicious chicken
Back off, because we've got a badass here. This one is a machine. He or she is probably a CSGO veteran, or maybe they’ve just been spilling blood in the Battle Royale mud for years. They know every map, every tight little corner, every place there is to hide. Every shot is a precision headshot, every shoot-out coldly efficient.
They don't need a team, don't even need a weapon, just a couple of seconds alone with your squishy head. If you see the Pro coming at you, turn and flee, regroup, form a fireteam – whatever you do, do it quickly, because every second you dally is the only second they need.
The Coward
Player trait: Underhand tactics
Usually found: Weaseling out of fights
This is a strange breed of gamer. A strange breed of person, to be perfectly honest. The sort that jumps into a game like Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds and spends entire matches hiding. They tell themselves they’re being cautious, but they’re not; they’re scared. Scared like little kittens in a firework factory.
They're also slaves to their nature, resorting to spineless tactics like camping, and they are drawn to other cowards, inexplicably coming together, bound by their fear to pick at the lone wolf like a pack of jackals. If you corner one, show them no mercy. Winning is for the worthy.