Exploration
How to stop social media from ruining your life
Adventurer and World Record holder Matt Prior talks us through some practical tips for developing healthier digital habits.
In queues, at airports, on trains, on the street, in elevators, in restaurants, at bars, in hotels, in parks, in almost every public area, all over the world, what do you see? Heads down, everyone on their phone.
I'm really not interested what you've told yourself to justify this behaviour, because this is not what being a human is all about.
Imagine you fell ill tomorrow and were given a few weeks left to live. How much of that time do you think you’d spend on social media? Imagine if someone told you just how many hours you’d wasted staring into your phone over the years, how do you think you would feel?
Sure, social media is part of ‘modern life’, but have you ever actually sat down and thought about what you’re doing with your time?
So little time…seriously?
Many of us complain about how little time we have to do the things we want to do: be outside, play sport, work on passion projects, start a business, see friends and family. But if you added up all the hours you spend staring into a screen (unless you're doing it specifically for a purpose – we’ll get to that in a minute), how much more time do you think you’d have? Honestly?
Can't argue with that
© Carl Heyerdahl
A lot of us already know how much of a negative impact social media is having on our lives, but very few of us seem capable of actually doing anything about it. Since we're naturally tribal and community based, you'd think this constant connectivity would be a good thing. But aimlessly using social media is leading to depression. And it's getting worse.
Why can’t we cut down?
Notifications have been proven to release dopamine hits akin to those you’d get from taking drugs. It’s literally addictive. The non-stop notifications can also lead to an overwhelming feeling of never being on top of things, and that can get stressful too.
Then there’s the FOMO factor – we don’t want to miss out on what's going on with friends, family or the world at large, and we don’t want to lose contact with all those people we’ve met travelling or who’ve moved away – many of whom, as harsh as it sounds, we'll probably never see again.
The dangerous ‘new normal’
Scrolling through the highlights of humanity means our perception of ‘life’ and our reference of what is ‘normal'’ is actually being reset.
If you don’t make changes, days, weeks and years of your life might pass by with nothing to show for it. This is not what life is about.
We're becoming dissatisfied with the things we achieve, see and do because, as soon as we go online, we see someone who has achieved, seen or done something better. Or at least, that’s how they’ve made it look.
This ‘new normal’ – that everything has to be exciting, colourful, good-looking, adventurous and perfect all the time – is of course, bullshit. It's not reality. Yet, in terms of our expectations, it's becoming the norm.
Regain the balance
If used with intent, social media can be a great tool and there is an insane amount of opportunity online. I know for sure that my Adventure Academy would not be possible without it, so there's definitely an upside.
When used correctly, social media can be invaluable for keeping in touch, finding inspiration and information, accessing niche groups and communities, and getting our voices heard on issues that matter to us.
How much time do you spend on social media?
© Daria Nepriakhina
Unfortunately the vast majority of us have reached a point where the negatives are drastically outweighing the positives, so it’s time to take action.
Here are some ways you can begin regaining control of your digital habits, your attention, your time and ultimately, your life.
1. Use each platform with purpose
Each social media platform has different strengths and weaknesses. Facebook is the best for everyday interactions with people. Twitter is amazing for connecting with people quickly and keeping tabs on industries and news. Instagram is great for inspiration. There's a load more but you get the gist.
For all platforms, ask yourself:
- WHY am I on this platform?
- Am I a content producer or consumer?
- Do I have an aim or a goal?
- Is my goal genuine, authentic and in line with who I am and what I do?
- Am I actually helping anyone else with what I'm doing? Am I making their lives or mine any better?
If you can't work out what the purpose is, why are you on it? Because all your friends are? Time to grow up. Just delete it. It feels good. You can actually delete Facebook but keep messenger, so you can do away with the distractions of the news feed but still keep in touch with your friends.
Once you have agreed on a purpose for each platform. STICK TO IT. Don't wander, don't drift, don't get distracted.
You MUST be disciplined with your usage or you will waste the best years of your life sat on your arse in front of a screen. Hardly a great obituary.
2. Be Disciplined
What I can't get my head around is how people can spend nearly ALL of their spare time scrolling through feeds of people they vaguely remember, z-list celebrities or worse!
They're so interested in the lives of other people that they're not living a life of their own. Think about that for a moment.
You MUST be disciplined with your usage or you will waste the best years of your life sat on your arse in front of a screen. Hardly a great obituary.
3. Be genuine
Do you compare yourselves to others? Why? Is this helping? A big one: will people be surprised if they meet the real you in person? If you’ve built something on bullshit, the reality will soon be exposed.
Are you creating an idea of what you'd like your life to be like, as opposed to what it actually is? Why is it that? If you don't have very good answers – do yourself a favour and get off it.
Social media: connection or isolation?
© Julentto Photography
4. Control what you see
This isn't saying create some sort of blinkered fantasy land or echo chamber – that too can have a negative impact. But if you’re seeing too much stuff you really don’t care about, is negative, or has zero effect on your life, get rid of it.
You're literally polluting your mind. That doesn't mean become one-dimensional and close-minded, it’s more about avoiding the BS out there. And there’s a lot. Unfollow pages, accounts and people if they're no longer serving the purpose you laid out above and don't feel bad about it. This is your time we're talking about.
5. Be happy with who you are
Simple question: why can’t you just be happy being who you are and enjoy your life? Why do you need to document everything? Do you think other people actually give a shit? Reverse roles and see if you would. If not, don’t post it. You're contributing to the pollution and depression.
Social media is very powerful and is influencing big events around the world. If this power can be harnessed and used for the greater good then there’s limitless potential. If not, it can be extremely damaging.
If you don’t make changes now, days, weeks and years of your life might pass by with nothing to show for it. Nothing to look back on and be proud about, no growth, nothing new, just some sort of delusional image in your head. This is not what life is all about.
Once you’ve reclaimed some of your time by regaining control over your digital habits - go outside, reconnect with nature and challenge yourself. Reconnect with who you are as a human being, try new things, pursue that dream – whatever it may be – travel, meet new people and speak to them face to face.
It's a novel idea, I know.
Matt Prior is an adventurer, pilot, photographer and world record holder. He served for six years flying jets in the Royal Air Force and, as a British Military Overseas Expedition Leader, led several multi-discipline expeditions across the world.