Games
The Electronic Entertainment Expo lands this month and we want to be wrong about these predictions.
It's June folks, and you know what that means. E3, the annual video game extravaganza, is kicking-off later this month in Los Angeles, California and you can expect to see and hear about the latest and greatest games coming soon to your Xbox One, PlayStation 4, Wii U or PC, as well as no doubt a few reveals about some far flung unannounced future projects.
Of course, all those keynotes that gamers tune into by their millions are as much about dashing dreams as fulfilling them – if that sequel you're hoping for doesn't get announced here, it's probably not going to get announced anywhere for another 12 months. Brace yourselves then for some heartbreak, because we're pretty confident that these announcements won't be happening at E3 2015, as much as we want to be wrong.
Half-Life 3
Look, just. Just no, OK? Yes, rumours continue to swirl that this will be the year the long awaited shooter is finally announced. Yes, Valve announced its new Source 2 game engine earlier this year, which Half-Life 3 would be an obvious candidate for. And yes, the game seems like an obvious way to shift a load of Steam Machines by making it a SteamOS exclusive. But we should known better by now than to expect a response when we pray to Lord Gaben – it's been eight years since Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and it'll probably be another eight still before we hear anything. Wait, did we just list three things there? It must be a sign of Half-Life 3 confirmed.
Ouya 2
Back in Ouya's salad days, when the company had raised millions and pundits were quick to call time on the traditional console, the company's CEO Julie Uhrman hinted that the Ouya could receive annual hardware updates, much like the iPhone. That was before the Ouya shipped as a buggy mess with no games, and the company lost all goodwill by not bothering to ship to backers before sticking the Android-powered box on high street shelves.
Jump to 2015 and Ouya is facing tough times, with no sign of a sequel on the horizon after all. One of its founders has thrown in the towel, and it's reportedly been trying to sell itself to the highest bidder, or any bidder for that matter. It's repositioned itself as a software company first and foremost, making deals with Chinese manufacturers and online giants like Alibaba, so don't expect an updated Ouya console to rival Nvidia's new 4K Android TV Shield machine anytime soon.
The return of Kevin Butler
Mundane Sony middle manager Kevin Butler stole E3 2010 with his keynote appearance after several popular TV ads for PlayStation starring the chinless console mascot. Unfortunately, whoever hired him did not vet his CV thoroughly, as it soon transpired that the actor playing Butler, Jerry Lambert, had also appeared in a Bridgestone ad with a Nintendo Wii, enthusiastically cheering on a game of Mario Kart. This is, of course, console heresy, and Butler was immediately fired, or at least transferred to another department.
The Last Guardian
Pretty much Sony's equivalent to Half-Life 3 at this point, Team Ico's The Last Guardian has been in the oven since 2009 and is surely well past overdone by now, resembling something more of a charred, crispy version of its older self that crumbles to the touch. The elusive title was originally slated to launch on the PlayStation 3, but we're already 18-months into the PS4's lifespan and there's still no sign of it yet. Sony's been filing trademarks for the game's name again, as recently as March, but who knows if that really means anything. It'll take a miracle for it to appear in updated form at E3.
A new Shenmue
Oh Ryo Hazuki. Will we ever see an end to your story? Shenmue, the magnum opus of famed Sega game designer Yu Suzuki, revolutionised open world adventure games when it hit the Dreamcast (and later Xbox), but its story is yet to be finished: Shenmue II ended up on a cliffhanger and Yu Suzuki ran out of budget. Devoted fans are still to this day crying out for a third game in the series, or at least a HD remaster of the first two titles, but we doubt Sega will ever give the franchise the end it truly deserves.
Nintendo NX
Nintendo shocked industry insiders and experts when it announced plans for a new gaming system earlier this year, codenamed NX. We still don't know whether it's a home console, a handheld, both, or something else entirely, but one thing's for certain: we won't be finding out in LA this month. Speaking to investors during a meeting in May, Nintendo president CEO Satoru Iwata confirmed that no details would be given about the NX at E3, with the Japanese gaming giant focusing on Wii U and 3DS announcements instead. Unless it was a double bluff to heighten the surprise?
The Elder Scrolls VI
Bethesda can harp on about the merits of The Elder Scrolls Online all it wants, but Skyrim purists are only really interested in a single-player sequel to the world's greatest fantasy series. Presumably the game would take us to another unexplored continent on Tamriel – or even let us explore its entirety – but such speculation will have to wait since the developer is widely expected to instead announce Fallout 4 at E3 this year. This is great news in itself of course, but it does mean that the chances of a new Elder Scrolls before Christmas are as likely as recovering successfully from an arrow to the knee and actually going on an adventure.
A non-FIFA FIFA 16
It's a question seriously worth asking in light of the wave of arrests at football's top governing body. At what point does the beloved football sim FIFA stop benefitting from being associated with the actual FIFA? Pro Evolution Soccer seems to be doing just fine these days, after all. Imagine, then, a scenario where EA stopped paying through the nose for the rights to the name, and announced at E3 it had decided to invest all that extra money in fixing the AI for its goalkeepers and giving away free Messi cards in Ultimate Team to all.
Grand Theft Auto V single player DLC
Rockstar Games has been busy dishing out its latest Grand Theft Auto game on almost every platform under the sun, but while PC gamers are tinkering around the game to give you even more things to do, the developer itself is keeping mum on its own official DLC for single player fans. We've seen numerous updates to GTA Online, bringing in new vehicles, new skins and new weapons with each release, even Heists, but if you're wanting to continue the adventures of Franklin, Michael and Trevor, you might be waiting a long while – it doesn't look like it'll be dropping anytime soon. Better off trying to solve the Mount Chiliad Mystery…
Game trailers that don’t overstate the graphics
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt has proven to be one of the most successful RPG titles of recent times, but not everyone's happy. Plenty of rabid, passionate fans are practically picking up pitchforks and calling out CD Projekt Red on how the final game looks worse than the demo shown two years ago at the VGX Awards. It's still a phenomenal looking game, and we're willing to let it slide, but hopefully other developers and publishers have taken a few hints. We don't want a repeat of when Killzone 2 was first teased for the PS3, with a completely pre-rendered trailer that looked nothing like the final game, or how Watch Dogs promised much more than we got when it debuted at E3 2012. Less of this please – honesty is the best policy.
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