Gaming
Gaming
How Stephanie Bendixsen became one of the most important voices in gaming
Author, broadcaster, Twitch streamer and self-confessed nerd, Hexsteph discusses the highs and lows that have shaped her career so far.
Think of gaming heroines and it would be easy to conjure up thoughts of Lara Croft scything down branches inside monkey-strewn temples.
But over the past decade, Stephanie Bendixsen has become the face and voice of mainstream gaming coverage in Australia and beyond, slowly changing the narrative of what constitutes a video-game expert in a traditionally male-dominated scene.
It's an impact the 35-year-old has felt firsthand. Since presenting Good Game on ABC between 2009 and 2017, followed by a year hosting ScreenPLAY on a commercial network alongside appearances on Red Bull's The Wrap Up, she's never forgotten a fan letter.
Bendixsen in 2016 hosting ABC's Good Game
© ABC
"It’s funny," she admits. "I don’t know if people need permission to share a passion for something, but girls will write to me saying ‘I can actually tell people I like video games now because I’ve seen you on TV talking about them'."
More recently she has helped launch Back Pocket, an online gaming show entirely funded by Patreon subscribers. More akin to a house party than a glossy primetime ratings chaser, it's a welcome change of pace for Bendixsen who still finds time to stream to thousands of followers on Twitch as Hexsteph, and has previously written a successful series of children's books.
Here, she takes time out of her packed schedule to speak candidly about her remarkable rise so far.
Related
Do you remember the first game you ever played?
Our home PC had a game called Sky Runner. You played as a spaceship that had to shoot down trees from its path and eventually it lowered a little motorbike down that you could ride. It was super-basic but fun.
Is it true you encountered gaming addiction as a kid?
Yeah that was Lensmoor! It was an online epic fantasy game and solely text based. My parents eventually banned me from playing it, so I’d wait until they were asleep, and – those being the dial-up modem days – press a pillow on the modem to smother the sound of the dial-up so it wouldn't wake them up.
Bendixsen says video games helped her find herself during her teens
© Stephanie Bendixsen
When did your parents realise you were playing too much?
Probably when I kept falling asleep in class and the school called my parents because they were worried. I'd even play in lessons if I could. I even went to counselling – it was a whole thing. It's the only time I've encountered gaming addiction.
It must have been some game…
School can be difficult due to the social hierarchies and your body changing – I didn’t like who I was. But in this world, I was a really strong confident warrior Elvin character, and more and more I wanted to spend time in that world.
With esports teams playing for many hours a day, are attitudes changing towards what is considered too much gaming nowadays?
There are team games which can be problematic for dependency. People who feel they're letting the team down if you’re not there to pull off a successful raid. But everything is fine in moderation. However, I don't like how video games are demonised by mainstream media, but television binge-culture, where spending an entire weekend watching multiple seasons of a TV show on a couch, is totally acceptable. You’re so much more active while gaming, using your mind to solve puzzles and co-operate with others.
I don't like how video games are demonised by mainstream media but television binge-culture is totally acceptable
Did you always know you wanted to work in the video games industry?
Not at all. I was studying a degree in performance when ABC announced they were starting a new channel for young people and that presenters should send audition tapes of them showing their personality. I went to a sci-fi convention to shoot mine and the presenter of Good Game happened to be there. He told me that they were also looking for another presenter. It seemed too serendipitous, so I went home and wrote a bunch of game reviews – I was familiar with the show’s style, because I loved it – and I got the job.
Were you nervous presenting your first episode?
Absolutely. It was so exciting, but then something happened that turned it all on its head. One of the presenters on the show had had a falling out with ABC management and left the show as I joined. He was quite public about the fact it wasn’t his choice to leave. So, instantly, many viewers didn’t trust me, they didn’t believe I was a legitimate gamer and thought I had been put on the show for some sort of sex appeal. Which is hilarious!
People actually complained?
This was 2009, really early social media days, but there was a massive onslaught of internet hate and anger and people trying to dox me, photoshopping my face onto porn. It went from this fantastic dream to this horrible nightmare so quickly.
Bendixsen has built up a loyal following on Twitch
© Stephanie Bendixsen
Did you reach out to anyone?
I remember breaking down while in the make-up chair one day and, thankfully, the producer of the show was a woman, a nerd and a gamer. She said “Listen, you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, just let your work speak for you and they’ll come around.” It was the best advice I’ve ever been given. I went about my job as best as I could and showed my passion for video games and eventually the angry voices became less and less. Suddenly I got letters from young women saying how cool it was to see a woman on the show and see themselves represented.
Proof that you should never listen to haters…
For sure. Down the track, I would get random DMs from people to say ‘Hey, I feel really bad because I was one of those people that said really mean things about you when you started but I have actually come to really respect you and I apologise’ which was really cool.
I have watched the industry change a huge amount since I first started
Do you think more needs to be done to make gaming even more inclusive?
Broadly speaking I have watched the industry change a huge amount since I first started. We’re seeing slow shifts in the amount of women getting into game development. Teams and publishers are being more diverse with their hiring, which means that the people who are making games have a more diverse range of stories that appeal to a wider range of people, which has its own domino effect.
How does a Twitch audience differ to a TV audience?
A Twitch stream is an immediate conversation, a direct window into your home. It took me a while to understand the shift from a very curated presenter-driven job on TV to being really loose and talking to people like they’re in the room with you. People just like the fact that it’s really natural, you’re not speaking in a presenter voice, it’s unfiltered content.
And the pressure’s off? You’re not a pro gamer…
People don’t watch me on Twitch because they want to see someone who is wicked hot at lining up headshots, they watch me because of the history they have with me on the show, and to watch someone with an honest passion for video games.
Bendixsen is proof that you should never listen to the haters
© Steph Bendixsen
Do you think most pro gamers have simply practised a lot, or do you think it’s mostly natural talent?
It is totally comparable with traditional sport – you’ve got people who are naturally better at it and willing to put in the work, but there are those who practise, practise and practise and never get there. And like traditional sports, it has a shelf life. Reflex and reaction speed are part of it and there are always going to be people who are younger and faster coming up.
In 2017 you moved to a commercial network to host screenPLAY, but left after a year. Why was that?
I had wanted to experience working at a commercial network because I’d never done that before. But it was pretty awful! For months and months the thing wouldn’t get off the ground. Upper management who knew nothing about video games wanted it to look more like a nightly sports show focused heavily on esports. But it doesn't work, because people who are interested in esports will consume their specific content for the specific game they watch online.
Back Pocket is funded by subscribers who have a huge say on its content
© back-pocket
Was it a culture shock working on commercial TV?
I'd naively come from the ABC where I was allowed to be myself and wear what I wanted. But commercial television was like ‘You need to dress like a woman’ and ‘Our main demographic is boys’. I had always deliberately dressed myself in oversized t-shirts so people would focus on my words and not fashion or my body, but suddenly what I wore mattered and that really frustrated me.
And now you're presenting Back Pocket, where subscribers get the biggest say on the show's content…
We set up a Patreon where people could subscribe at whatever financial level they’re comfortable with. People had been asking us to make our own content for a while because they felt like the voice for Australian gaming discourse was lacking. We hadn’t expected so many people to jump on board from the get-go, so this last six months has been us playing a little bit of catch-up and now I think we’re finally getting there and we’re going to broaden that audience. It’s one of the best things we’ve ever done.
And you can choose your own wardrobe...
[laughs] I can wear as many oversized t-shirts as I like...
