Cliff Diving
You're Molly Carlson, about to shake down the first epic stop of the 2023 Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series. Relive the Boston event through the eyes of the Canadian diver.
So… 2023 season! Let’s do this! I was SO pumped to get back into it. We arrived in Boston and the weather was pretty amazing, though Saturday (finals day) was, let's say, a little unexpected! That’s the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series experience for you… expect the unexpected! Boston is such an incredible city though and to head out there representing my country (with my family there too!) is always such an honor.
I'm only human
But time for real talk, too. It was also tough. This year there was more anxiety than ever. I headed into Boston having just come off a World Cup win only a week before, where I’d competed in a very comfortable environment - pool, flat water, exact 20m platform. But Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series platforms are so different. All these amazing views, the platform sways a little bit, and it’s never perfectly 20m.
So all the training I’ve done before the event doesn’t exactly add up. There are a lot of unknowns. I can get overwhelmed with thoughts like “Do I have to win again? Am I going to be more anxious than I should be?” Last year, I won in Boston, and there was so much pressure to do that again. People kept asking if I’m going for the “two-peat.” Guys, I didn’t even want to think about that!
Over the past couple of years though, I’ve learned on tour that you can't control everything. The Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series brings you to some insane places with wind, rain and waves, so sometimes you need to remind yourself that you are human and that mistakes are allowed.
Always be authentic
Growing up with anxiety, I had this unreal expectation of myself where I just wanted to be the best ever. But I’ve learned that yes, you can be imperfect sometimes. I’ve learned to recognize the part inside of me, where I want everything to go absolutely flawlessly. But if it doesn’t go flawlessly, I want to be OK with that as well.
Then there’s the voice inside my head, and what I can say out loud. Inside I think: “Oh my God! I can be World Champion!” and I don’t like saying that out loud EVER because my internal pressure is so high. Externally I’m saying: “I want to reach new goals,” but now I’m also acknowledging that deep down I know that I really care about results. I’ve learned that being yourself and sharing how scary this sport can be is the best way to overcome fears, rather than pretending it’s not scary!
Embracing my me-time
So how I manage the lead-up to the event and afterwards is super important, and it’s taken me a while to get the balance right. In the weeks leading up to an event, I balance out my schedule with intense diving practices, ballet practices, weight training sessions and self-care.
Ballet is my passion, it’s a really beautiful sport! Your girl doesn’t dance, but my goal was to have two hours a week to myself, put my phone down and be in the moment. It’s also really good cross-training for diving – the toe points, the posture…. but I did it more for the dancing and connecting to the music. It’s my me-time, the first physical thing I did that was for my self-care. (Side note: I almost felt terrified to post my poor quality ballet online, but I had to remind myself that this is the sole purpose of my platforms, to show people that I’m doing something for me. If I’m 24 years old and doing a new sport, and it doesn’t look amazing, who cares?).
I actually learned this year in the off-season how introverted I actually am. You can see me always being smiley and I’m a really bubbly person. But if I don’t have that time to myself to wind down then it just adds to the pressure and the anxiety. I learned I needed to start saying no more. I was such a people-pleaser when I was in my anxious days. The more I’m learning about self-care is that it’s got to be right for me – I still consider my eight-hour Netflix binges self-care. As for doing yoga at 6am, are you kidding? That’s not for me! I’m definitely an in-your-bed-self-care kinda girl!
In the days leading up to Boston, I really lightened up the workload of all my diving, ballet and weights and really prioritized rest and self-care. In the hours before the dives, Aidan and I will always wake up and play our pre-comp playlist (ultra secret!). And then, right before I jump, I distract myself with a game on my phone (2048) while listening to one song on repeat (which is also top secret, sorry!!!).
Chill, Molly!
Out on the diving platform, especially on Saturday, I was still terrified... but I was so proud of ALL of us getting out there and throwing down some insane dives! I take a moment to remember that old me would have been very nervous of not just the diving, but living up to the goals and expectations.
Like on Friday in Boston, where three of my three dives were not perfect. My first thoughts were whether I was being judged by other people. I was literally thinking about what other people were thinking. But then I think... who cares, you know? Let’s reframe it – I just came off a really high week and I’m getting back into a different platform. I'm in a new environment, and I can’t be perfect all the time. Chill Molly, you’re fine!
My daily reminder: embrace living in the moment
I used to stand up there and worry about the mental and emotional side of it, but now I can really focus on the physical. I’m finally able to get in the moment and in that headspace where I don’t care about what other people think. I’m so proud of my second place finish in Boston, but more than that, no matter how I compete this season, I’m already achieving my dreams and inspiring the next generation. So now I can truthfully say to myself: Molly, just get up there and ENJOY it. And you know what? Your girl LOVED it. It’s good to be back! See you in Paris!!!
Catch up with Molly and the Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series at the second stop of the season in Paris, France. Watch the finals live on Red Bull TV from 14:00 UTC on June 18, 2023!
